we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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