My brain says no but my pants say off.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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