Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
