he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
