Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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