there was a trapeze. enough said
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
