The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
