so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
