I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
