If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize