just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
