Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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