you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
