He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize