I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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