i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize