Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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