I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
