so that wasnt chicken after all
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
