im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
