I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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