Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize