he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
