Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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