He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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