I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You brought string cheese to the strip club
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
