Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
