I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
