quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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