is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
