He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
