Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
