If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
