Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I smell stomach acid.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
