By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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