I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
