i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
