never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
