Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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