I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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