Sry I called you an 8
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
