you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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