I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
