just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
