Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
