I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
