Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
