The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
