Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
