yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
