Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize