I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
