no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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