he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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