is your mom at the bar?
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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