u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
