my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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