Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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