What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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