We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
