We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
