Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
