I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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