why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
