i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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