my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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