I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize