That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm too high and old for this...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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