After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
