This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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